The wall

There are many kinds of walls. There are seceral famous walls. No, I'm not going to write about the wall Donald Trump talked about, and I'm not writing about the Chinese wall. The walls I'm thinking of are the walls we put up around ourselves as well as the wall we sometimes hit in regards to our thoughts.

I feel now like I hit such a wall. I'm working hard on losing weight and bevause of this I've walk a lot. I feel I hit the wall when it somes to walking. I'm not motivated and I quickly become exhausted. Now my stamine when walking is worse than it was when I began dieting and excersising. It was a lot better a couple of weeks ago,

I try to motivate myself, but it's difficult. I try telling myself I should walk to burn more energy, but I feel like I'm out of energy. I feel like lating down and just sleep all day long. It does not help now when I have troubles sleeping. I fall asleep, but I wake up in the middle of the night and I'm unable to fall back to sleep. 

This summer I've mostly been walking by myself, and this might be one of the reasons I've hit the wall. It's nice walking alone, but I prefer walking with someone. I find it easier to motivate myself and it is easier to get out of the door when someone else is pushing me a bit. I hope it will get easy walking again, when I have someone to walk with on a regular basis.

We sometimes put walls between us and other people. We do this of several reasons. We might do it because we feel like we're not good enough, or we might be afraid of getting hurt. I feel I'm not good enough if I'm in my dark times. I'm also afraid of being hurt. This is bevause I've been hurt before and it's a terrible feeling.

When I'm sad my mind tells me I'm not good enough for other people. I feel I can offer them nothing and that I'm only a burden on their shoulders. What helps me in these times is when good friends of mine tear down my walls and show me they love and care about me. They do this when they talk to me and ask me questions and tell me how they feel. It helps me if they tell me how their day was and f they have anything on their minds. If they do this I feel I care. I feel I meen something to someone else.


I was bullyed and this hurt me. I've lost friends and it is a horrible feeling. This is something I never want to experience sgain, but I choose to make friends and caring. It open's me up for the possibility of being hurt, but this is not for sure. What is sure is me getting new experiencing and the chance of love and happiness. It is a chance I will continue taking.

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