Bullied for a lomg time

I was bullied. All through all 10 years of elementary school and all through high school. I was bullied by the cool kids, my friends and the other kids. I was bullied because I was a nerd,my red hair, freckles, my taste of music, the fact I was unable to roll the r’s when speeking. I was not an athletic kid and I was not good at the creative subjects. I was also bullied for being diabetic and when I started losing my sight I was bullied for this as well.

Ever since I was a young kid I have had thoughts about death. I was not sure if my life was worth living. I was bullied at school, in my spare time and when the internet was getting common I was bullied there as well. It got so bad we went to the police with links, pictures and pages, all of hurtfull, bullying comments. We never heard anything from the police. This made me question if I had any worth in the world. I thought to myself «The police helps people that’s worth something, so I’m not.

I started eating to not feel sad. This resulted in my becoming overweight, which made me feel even worse. I have now lost 28kg in 41 weeks, and I hope to not put the weight back on. My thoughts about being worthless and wanting to end my life is gone in periods but they have never completely disappeared. 

After a while I started making jokes about myself and my true friends do the same in a friendly way. I started doing this as a way to cope, and it worked. Now I love doing this and when friends of mine do the same!